Lisa and Elsien always knew they wanted to start a family together. As a same-sex female couple, IVF was the clear path forward, and they wanted a clinic that could support them every step of the way. Their journey led them to Reproductive Fertility Center (RFC) and Dr. Fong, someone they instantly trusted, even before meeting her in person.
From the beginning, they knew they wanted to share the experience as equally as possible. Upon researching how they can both be a part of the journey, they discovered reciprocal IVF, or RIVF, where one partner provides the eggs, which are fertilized with donor sperm, while the other partner carries the pregnancy.
The couple decided that RIVF was the path for them and wanted to get started right away. Elsien would provide the eggs, and Lisa would carry their baby. The process officially began in October 2022 with lab work. Both were 32 and eager to begin their family journey together.
Finding the Right Doctor
Their decision to choose RFC was strongly influenced by Dr. Fong. They had worked with her previously through Kaiser, and with RFC being a designated Center of Excellence for Kaiser Permanente, the couple was able to continue their care at RFC with Dr. Fong.
Although there was no obligation to stay with her, they felt an instant connection. “We knew from the minute we talked to her that we wanted to do the journey with her. She was calm, sincere, and realistic in a way that made us feel safe,” the couple shared. Despite not meeting Dr. Fong in person until transfer day, every call with her reassured them that they were in the right hands.
The Reciprocal IVF Process
The couple both started with a fertility workup to assess where their reproductive health was at.
After Elsien’s blood work, it was revealed that even though Elsien was only 32 at the time, her ovaries were producing the eggs of a 42-year-old. Dr. Fong reassured the couple that this did not mean it was impossible, but it did mean there was a narrower timeline now.
Elsien took matters into her own hands and decided to make some diet and lifestyle changes. With her new healthier habits, when she retested her levels a few months later, her levels indicated that her ovaries were producing eggs at her actual age again.
Elsien’s egg retrieval was the first big step. She successfully produced 22 follicles, yielding 14 eggs, and ultimately, two fertilized embryos. But just when they thought they were ready for the embryo transfer, they hit an unexpected roadblock. Lisa had a polyp in her uterus.
Before her official transfer, Lisa chose to undergo a mock transfer, a procedure that simulates an embryo transfer by injecting saline into the pelvic cavity to evaluate the uterus for any abnormalities.
Because of the mock transfer, Lisa discovered she had a uterine polyp, a growth of tissue inside the uterus that can interfere with embryo implantation and increase the risk of miscarriage.
Dr. Fong wasted no time. She scheduled surgery to clear the uterus, ensuring the best possible outcome. Though this delayed their timeline by a month or two, they were grateful it was caught early. “If we had gone through with the transfer without removing the polyp, it might not have worked, or worse, we could have miscarried,” Lisa said.
Adjusting to the unexpected became a theme in their journey. Originally, they had hoped for an October baby, a Halloween arrival. But as their timeline shifted, they embraced the idea of a winter baby instead. Their transfer finally happened in April of 2024, setting them on course for a January due date.
The couple noted that one of the most challenging aspects of IVF was learning to administer injections. “The fear of injecting each other with no experience was nerve-wracking,” Elsien recalled. “But we trusted each other and got through it”.
Their commitment to each other only grew stronger as they navigated appointments, medications, and unexpected detours, at one point even bringing their injections with them on a trip to Las Vegas.
A Life-Changing Moment
When it came time to find out if the transfer had worked, they decided not to take a home pregnancy test to avoid unnecessary anxiety. Instead, they waited for the official blood test results.
On the way to Disneyland, they got a call from Debbie, their sonographer at RFC. Lisa was pregnant! Overwhelmed with emotion, Lisa cried tears of joy, and Elsien, filled with excitement, felt like she might faint.
“Pregnancy was surreal. I think I was in shock the whole time”, Lisa mentions, and before they knew it, their baby was here in their arms, but earlier than expected.
Lisa was diagnosed with preeclampsia, a condition that can lead to dangerously high blood pressure during pregnancy. Despite having no warning signs, her blood pressure kept rising, and eventually, the baby’s heartbeat could no longer be detected, and Lisa was at risk for a seizure. This led to an emergency C-section at 32 weeks pregnant. Lisa and Elsien’s newborn baby boy spent over a month in the NICU, but today, they are all thriving.
Looking Back & Moving Forward
Despite the challenges, Lisa and Elsien describe their IVF experience as overwhelmingly positive. “We would do it all over again,” they said without hesitation.
Their biggest advice to others? Be flexible. “If your doctor tells you to be there at a certain time, you have to be there. Timing is everything in fertility treatments”. They also recommend opting for a mock transfer, even if it’s not part of your package. “It wasn’t originally included for us, but we paid extra, and it was definitely worth it in the end. Had we not done it, we wouldn’t have known about the polyp”.
Lisa and Elsien loved their experience with RFC. Just like what they wanted, they were supported and cared for every step of the way. The kindness and compassion of the RFC team made their journey even more special, and after their baby was born, they couldn’t wait to return to RFC to introduce their little one to the staff who helped make their dream a reality.
As for now, the happy couple is basking in the joys of new parenthood. Lisa shares, “We are so happy. Our baby is growing so fast right in front of our eyes, it’s crazy and bittersweet. We’re really overjoyed”.
They’re already planning for the future. They have one remaining frozen embryo, another boy, and have already scheduled an appointment to discuss their next steps. “We’d love to have a girl one day too, so maybe we’ll do IVF again.”
