Lucky Number 3: Stephanie and Jay

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A rocky start to their fertility journey

Planning a family is an exciting prospect for any young couple. Having grown up in a supportive family environment with her younger brother, Stephanie wanted to provide a similar lifestyle for her own family and hoped to have multiple children.

Like many women, Stephanie had been on birth control to help manage her otherwise irregular menstrual cycle. When she and her husband, Jay, decided to start their family, Stephanie stopped her birth control medication. They tried unsuccessfully for six months to get pregnant.

Stephanie’s general practitioner referred her to a fertility specialist. Given Stephanie’s history of irregular periods, the fertility doctor determined that in vitro fertilization was their best option. Furthermore, since Stephanie’s ultrasounds didn’t detect any follicles, the doctor recommended using an egg donor for the best chance of a successful pregnancy.

Stephanie and Jay waited to see if the donor they’d chosen was available. With a lack of communication and transparency from their fertility doctor, they didn’t know what to expect from the process. And, after a year of waiting, they hadn’t made any progress toward their goal of having a family. The delay left them frustrated. They felt this fertility doctor’s approach to the procedure didn’t feel thorough and they didn’t feel well cared for.

Finding the right fertility clinic

Determined to have her family, Stephanie turned to her OB/GYN for advice. Knowing that Stephanie had previously been on birth control to regulate her menstrual cycle, and, at one point, had amenorrhea and stopped menstruating, her OB/GYN decided to run some tests. The resulting bloodwork showed that Stephanie was in post-menopause and confirmed that she suffered from premature ovarian failure.

At only age twenty-nine, Stephanie’s ovaries weren’t functioning normally and weren’t producing enough estrogen to produce eggs regularly and she had nearly a zero percent chance of having a viable follicle. This diagnosis reduced her chances of getting pregnant naturally and meant she would have a more difficult journey to having a child.

Stephanie needed the utmost care in continuing her attempts to get pregnant. She needed a doctor who understood her needs of transparency, cost, and her desire to have a family. She was referred to Reproductive Fertility Center.

At RFC, Stephanie felt comfortable and understood. Her care coordinator took the time to explain every step of the process and to decipher any medical speak Stephanie didn’t understand and broke it down into layman’s terms. She discussed the cost and what to expect. Feeling reassured, Stephanie was ready to continue trying to get pregnant.

Their experience with IVF and Egg Donation

After reviewing Stephanie’s medical history, RFC determined that her only option was IVF. She and Jay began the process of finding an egg donor. They chose to use the services of Options in Family. They provide donors who have undergone a meticulous vetting process, each egg donor undergoes extensive testing, screening, and evaluation to ensure the best quality egg selection.

With the help of RFC and Options in Family, Stephanie and Jay were finally taking steps to starting their family. They began searching for a donor through the online database that included pictures of the donors, their backgrounds, and their interviews. It took six months to select a donor and ensure they were the right fit for Stephanie and Jay and were willing to donate their eggs. 

With a donor selected, the process of retrieving follicles and creating embryos took an additional three months. Now, Stephanie and Jay had eight embryos, and they could begin their first IVF cycle.

Sadly, Stephanie’s first two IVF cycles were unsuccessful. Having gone through so many hurdles to finally do her IVF cycles, she felt defeated at losing two opportunities to start her family. They still had other embryos but having two failed attempts left Stephanie worried. Given her medical history, could her body support a growing baby? Uncertain of what the future might hold, she began researching her options for adoption.

The third time's the charm

Her third attempt was successful. After a year of trying, she was finally pregnant. Having experienced two failed attempts, Stephanie decided to be cautious. Though she was nervous, she took care of herself and her baby.  Her pregnancy progressed normally until her twenty-seventh week when her water broke prematurely. Frightened, Stephanie rushed to the hospital. They discovered the amniotic membrane surrounding her unborn baby had ruptured, a condition called Preterm Premature Rupture of the Membrane, PPROM. This increased the chance of infection and premature birth. Concerned about premature birth and not wanting to risk the mother or baby, Stephanie’s doctor ordered hospitalized bed rest.

For the next six weeks, Stephanie waited anxiously for the arrival of her baby. To combat her nervousness and keep up her mental health, she painted with watercolors and had frequent visits with family and friends. She stayed positive and focused on being healthy.

At thirty-two weeks, Stephanie delivered a baby girl. They named her Violet. Still, eight weeks early, baby Violet needed additional care and was sent to the natal intensive care unit, NICU. As a premature baby, she needed the warmth and protection of an incubator. 

At four pounds and five ounces, she was underweight. Her lungs had not yet fully developed, so she required oxygen. Her sucking reflex hadn’t developed, so she received an IV to get the fluids and nutrition her tiny body needed.

It was a trying time for Stephanie and Jay. It took them a few days to adapt to the routine of the NICU. Violet had been placed on a strict feeding and resting schedule. With the help of the nursing staff, Stephanie and Jay could hold Violet.

The nurses encouraged them to do Kangaroo Care, a technique of skin-to-skin contact that allows for a special experience that can help build the bond between you and your baby. Kangaroo Care can help stabilize a baby’s heart rate, improve a baby’s breathing and oxygen saturation levels, help a baby to gain weight, help a baby sleep, and help a baby to an earlier hospital discharge.

During visits to the NICU, Stephanie and Jay were aware that two other premature babies passed away. Stephanie and Jay worried about their newborn daughter. They prayed for Violet’s improved health and development. Violet proved to be a fighter. She grew stronger and after four weeks in the NICU, she went home.

Taking care of a preemie

As a first-time mother of a preemie, Stephanie had extra worries. She provided Violet with breastmilk, but after continued episodes of Violet spitting up left Stephanie concerned that Violet wasn’t eating enough or getting the nutrition she needed. Stephanie took Violet to occupational therapy to make sure she could swallow properly. The therapist assured Stephanie that what Violet was experiencing was a typical issue for preemies and Violet would soon overcome it. The therapist also gave Stephanie information on the behaviors to watch out for. Thankfully, Violet did grow out of her spitting-up episodes. Although Stephanie did have to change Violet’s clothes several times a day and did a lot of laundry.

Violet continued to be a fighter and by fourteen months, ten months earlier than her doctor expected, she had caught up with her growth charts. Today, Violet is a curious two-year-old and is one of the more advanced children at daycare.

Deciding to do IVF again

Stephanie wants to give Violet a sibling. It was time to try to get pregnant again. Having had such a great experience and success through RFC, Stephanie and Jay returned for assistance in growing their family. They planned their next IVF cycle. Unfortunately, Stephanie’s uterine lining didn’t develop well enough to support an embryo and the transfer of the embryo was canceled. Their second attempt at IVF was also canceled because of an underdeveloped uterine lining. After six months of trying and a third IVF cycle, Stephanie is once again pregnant and expecting her second child, a boy.

Currently, at twenty-six weeks, Stephanie’s biggest concern is recurrent PPROM. Her baby is healthy, but she’s a bit consumed with worry as she approaches her twenty-seventh week. It’s a personal milestone she hopes to pass without the trauma of her first pregnancy. The next milestone will be surpassing her thirty-second week and having a healthy baby boy.

As a precaution, and to ensure a full-term pregnancy, Stephanie is taking a weekly Makena shot. It’s a progesterone injection that is used to lower the risk of premature birth. She’s also doing a lot of self-care by going for walks, taking long baths, indulging in her favorite meals, and sleeping as much as she can.

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