Renee, 33, and her husband, 35, had been trying to get pregnant for about a year when they started to feel like something wasn’t quite right. It was 2020, and while their doctor at the time had begun running some tests, the advice they kept receiving felt vague and unhelpful, like “try more often” and “stay out of hot tubs.” They weren’t getting the answers or guidance they needed.
Not wanting to waste time, the couple began researching fertility clinics on their own. Reproductive Fertility Center (RFC) was one of the first names that came up, and they would soon realize it wouldn’t be the last time they heard it.
Without meaning to, the couple was referred to Dr. Lin not once, not twice, but three separate times.
The first was at a friend’s house. While catching up, Renee and her husband shared that they were on their fertility journey. Their friend responded enthusiastically, saying they had their own child with Dr. Lin and highly recommended him.
At first, it felt like a small coincidence. But then, while chatting with a stranger at a bar, someone casually asked the couple if they had kids. When they said no but mentioned they were trying, the stranger immediately recommended Dr. Lin from Reproductive Fertility Center.
The third time, Renee’s husband was out golfing when another player mentioned that he and his wife had also gone through fertility treatment, with Dr. Lin of all the fertility doctors out there, and strongly recommended they look into him.
With so many people telling the couple about Dr. Lin and RFC, Renee and her husband couldn’t help but take these as obvious signs they were on the right path. Renee shares, “It was such a comforting sign to hear all these people talking about Dr. Lin. All I could think was, if he could help all these wonderful families, he would be able to help ours and give us our baby, too”.
A diagnosis of unexplained infertility
After completing testing at RFC with Dr. Lin, the couple was officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility. “While in some ways it was a relief to know there were no definite issues, it also made things more frustrating because it meant that it could’ve been anything. It was stress-inducing to say the least”, Renee expresses. But this diagnosis didn’t deter the couple and their determination.
Renee and her husband officially started treatment in March of 2021 with IUI. The couple attempted intrauterine insemination (IUI) multiple times. On their third try, Renee was only pregnant for 10 days before she unfortunately experienced a chemical miscarriage. After this heartbreaking experience, the couple had the courage to try IUI once more and were yet again unsuccessful in getting pregnant.
Devastated by the lack of successful outcomes, Renee struggled to keep their spirits up. “It was hard watching people come and go in the waiting room, seeing different patients wait with me and then stop coming in as they completed their journey,” Renee shares,
“I kept telling myself, my day will come. There will be a time when I won’t be sitting and waiting anymore”.
With intrauterine insemination (IUI) proving it wasn’t the correct approach for the couple, they switched gears and began in vitro fertilization (IVF) in 2022.
The hardest part
Beginning their IVF cycle, Renee recalls that it wasn’t the hormone shots that scared her, it was everything else. “I was scared, worried, hopeful, and overwhelmed every step of the way”, Renee shares.
During the egg retrieval, Dr. Lin was able to retrieve 24 eggs. 12 out of those eggs were able to be fertilized, and out of those 12 embryos made, 8 were tested, and only 2 were perfect.
With only 2 embryos to transfer, the couple was filled with nervous anticipation after transferring one of those embryos. After waiting what felt like the longest two-week wait ever, they learned that their embryo ultimately did not stick, and Renee was not pregnant.
With each failed attempt, the couple grew increasingly sad and frustrated. Throughout the years trying to get pregnant, Renee and her husband have been taken on an emotional roller coaster, with big highs filled with hope after each IUI and then IVF, only to be met with huge lows of disappointment.
It became difficult for Renee to see other couples who would get pregnant on their first try, or even those who would get pregnant without trying. “The toughest season was always the holidays”, Renee expresses,
I still remember going to family gatherings and seeing everyone who was pregnant and how “easy” it was for them, while I was going through my fertility treatment and trying so persistently. I remember that I would try so hard to hide my sadness behind my smile. I would repeat to myself, ‘Don’t be the bitter person, be the better person, ’ yet it was still so hard.
During this difficult time, Renee knew she had to not only prepare physically for treatment, but also emotionally. She had been doing acupuncture for months and months, before, after, and in between treatments, but it wasn’t until her coordinator, Paula, referred Renee to see the RFC acupuncturist, Meredith, did it seem to have made a difference.
After the failed transfer, Renee began seeing Meredith for acupuncture, and it made all the difference. She followed Meredith’s routine and recommendations. Renee tells us, “Acupuncture at RFC felt very nature-esque, like therapy. It was a time for me to be calm and to relax. It helped a lot with my mental health at that time”.
Feeling physically and more emotionally prepared from acupuncture, the couple went back to Dr. Lin for their second transfer, using their last perfect embryo.
And it worked. The final transfer was a success!
Renee was finally pregnant, and the couple then began expecting the newest addition to their family, a baby girl.
Finally pregnant
Renee no longer had to return to the clinic waiting room; her wait was over. The day she wished so hard for was finally here.
Renee, recalling her pregnancy experience, “I was a nervous wreck. The whole time I was so scared I didn’t even want to move my body too much. I had some bleeding in the beginning, which was scary. But I was also extremely happy, and hopeful”.
With a relatively smooth pregnancy, other than the morning sickness for 20 straight weeks and the constant heartburn, Renee could not have been happier, expressing, “I didn’t even care about the pregnancy symptoms because the symptoms were a good sign to me that my body was really pregnant”.
To distract herself from being too worried, Renee worked all the way up until the day she was induced. After 24 hours of labor, Renne and her husband now had a beautiful baby girl after 3 and a half long years of trying.
Today, their daughter, Grace, is almost 2 years old.
Cancel out the noise
Having been on their fertility journey for more than 3 years, Renee has learned a lot about what is helpful to say to someone trying to conceive, and what is not helpful.
“So many people give opinions and advice with good intentions, but it’s just noise. Good intentions, while good, aren’t helpful. What is helpful is people saying encouraging things and just checking in to see how you’re doing”, Renee shares, “I think the people who give advice and opinions are just people who don’t want to say nothing, because they do want to be supportive, but listening is better really”.
Renee’s advice to others is to try to block out the noise and don’t stop believing. She recalls the visualization exercises Meredith, RFC’s acupuncturist, had her do about visualizing a smooth and healthy process and how it made a huge difference in helping move forward. “So much of the journey is about your mind, and that’s the hard part. Keep faith, even if you keep getting no’s”, she shares.
What also helped the couple was their amazing support system. Renee says she felt supported from everywhere. In her personal life, everyone knew what she and her husband were going through and trying to achieve. They had a community of people praying and rooting for them. The couple also had the support of RFC.
I am so thankful for RFC and Dr. Lin…They made me feel so comfortable, and I am so appreciative. Meredith is so sweet and a great supporter, and Paula, my coordinator, too. I love Paula so much. I know I probably drove her crazy with all those calls. She is such a calming presence. She always stays level and tells me everything will be okay, which is exactly what I needed to hear during my journey, Renee expresses.
The happy couple now
With their daughter almost 2 years old now, Renee tells us that her fertility journey feels like a million years ago already. She mentions, “I remember the experiences, but it doesn’t feel as bad as it did during the time because everything is just okay now. When you’re in it, it’s so hard and painful, but my baby is 2 now and everything is just great”.
Their daughter is thriving and enjoying life, playing and reading to her dolls, while the couple excitedly awaits another addition to their family. That’s right! Renee is pregnant again and expecting another baby soon!
While asking Renee if she would do anything different, she says she would remind herself not to be so scared all the time and wants to remind others to “be brave and confident, because when you’re scared, that’s when doubt creeps in.”
