From Moscow to America, the Start of Their Journey
Growing up in the spartan environment of Moscow during the restructuring of the Soviet Union’s Perestroika, Dasha learned to be sturdy, flexible, and ready for anything. The political and economic changes made everyday life challenging. So, her dad, a choreographer, and her mom, a theater and film designer, filled their home with books, theatre props, ballet posters, and eccentric, fascinating people. They introduced Dasha to composers, psychics, and foreigners who came from intriguing, irresistible other worlds.
With the Iron Curtain slowly dissipating, Dasha’s family moved to the United States when her father accepted a job in northern California. Dasha attended high school, but it proved chaotic. Between the language barrier, trying to learn English, and the culture shock of being in a different world, Dasha felt misunderstood, and she struggled to adapt. She found her love of art, and the unbroken, flowing language of making images became her truth.
Dasha’s creative journey continued at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena. While in school, she pursued her love of images and the creative flow of artistry, studied illustration, and developed a deep respect for design. After graduation, Dasha took her portfolio to New York and got a job working in Editorial Publishing. She managed to get showings of her personal work in up-and-coming Los Angeles galleries and in exhibitions in various countries around the world. Her work was recognized by the Society of Illustrators, American Illustration, and other prestigious organizations.
As a Creative Consultant, Dasha’s career blossomed. She was fortunate to be able to work mostly from home. Focusing mainly on her career left little time for other interests and hobbies. Separating work and life proved to be a near-impossible task. Years of sixteen-hour days strained her health, marriage, and social life. Dasha suffered from major burnout.
Then the 2008 recession hit. Dasha struggled as her work dwindled to only a fraction of her previous projects. She juggled an upside-down mortgage and additional debt. She faced a dead marriage and ultimately divorced.
Dasha needed to rebuild her life.
The first step was finding a better work-life balance. She found dancing, specifically the Argentine Tango, profoundly therapeutic. Learning to give up total control, work as a couple with a stranger, and be completely present in the moment opened Dasha to her personal freedom. For the first time in her life, she acknowledged and celebrated her femininity.
She also found new love in her dance partner, Alex.
The Desire for a Family and Initial Setbacks
Through reevaluating her life, her relationship, and her career, Dasha found more time for self-care. She married Alex and took on fewer projects at work. Initially, managing that balance proved challenging, but Dasha discovered her motivation to maintain her newfound healthy life perspective in her strong desire to have a child.
Now, at age thirty-five, Dasha and Alex decided to try to get pregnant right away. Dasha spoke of their desire for a family. “We generate so much love in our relationship that for a long time, we’ve felt like we needed another human being to pour this surplus into. It seems that creating a human being that is a manifestation of our love and our physical selves is incredibly selfish, but also divine.”
Six months later, they celebrated their first pregnancy. However, their happy moment didn’t last. Dasha experienced an early miscarriage at 6 or 7 weeks. Devastated by her loss, she realized her journey of having a child might be more difficult than she’d imagined.
Navigating the Challenges of Unexplained Infertility
Her OB/GYN recommended she take a break to recover. A few months later, they tried again, using Clomid to stimulate her ovaries. After four months of failed attempts, Dasha and Alex felt the pain of losing the opportunity to have a child.
Then, at thirty-seven, Dasha’s doctor diagnosed her with unexplained infertility. Dasha confronted the uneasy realization that she wasn’t in complete control of her body. Regret settled over her and she wished she’d taken her fertility more seriously earlier in her life. Being aware that they had no time to waste and knowing their chances of a successful pregnancy were dwindling, Dasha and Alex decided to see a specialist.
Their first In-Vitro Fertilization cycle was unsuccessful. After their second IVF cycle, Dasha was pregnant. Yet, again, she experienced a violent miscarriage in her seventh week. Grieving for a second baby left her with a deeper and darker sense of loss.
She felt guilty and shameful that she was somehow not fulfilling her role as a wife to Alex. Needing to recover, both emotionally and financially, Dasha decided to again take some time and let herself heal.
Overcoming Loss, Burnout, and Family Tragedies
During her respite, family tragedy struck. Dasha’s father, who’d always been healthy and energetic, fell ill while on vacation in Ukraine. She flew to Kiev to assist him. He was diagnosed with ALS, a cruel, rapidly progressive, degenerative disease. Focused on taking care of her wheelchair-bound father, Dasha arranged flights back to the United States. Her concern for her father didn’t give her much time to worry about the wildfire raging near her home in the San Jacinto Mountains of Riverside County, California. On her return flight, during a brief layover in Frankfurt, an unexpected text message from a neighbor informed her that her house had been ravaged by the fire and was now a pile of ash.
The next several months were uncertain and stressful. Dasha and Alex couldn’t rebuild their house due to the complete destruction of the local infrastructure. They mourned the loss of their dream home and possessions while navigating their impossibly difficult fire insurance. They coped with her father’s illness. And, financially, their resources needed to be directed to taking care of themselves and their immediate concerns. Dasha and Alex were left with little time to think about fertility treatments.
It took nearly a year for Dasha’s life to get back to normal. They moved to Orange County for Alex’s work. But during that time, Dasha’s mom was diagnosed with advanced-stage cancer. They moved, again. This time to Los Angeles to be closer to Dasha’s mom. After going through so much in a short span of time, Dasha felt completely overwhelmed. Staying positive became difficult. She realized that seeking help wasn’t a sign of weakness, but a strength. She knew she needed professional help to keep moving forward. She sought the help of a therapist. After four months of weekly sessions, Dasha felt stronger than ever and was ready to continue trying to build her family.
The Last IVF Cycle and Success
A co-worker of her husband’s, who’d had a successful pregnancy, recommended Reproductive Fertility Center. At her first appointment, Dasha felt Dr. Lin was someone she could have a really good rapport with. He was curious, confident, respectful, realistic, and clearly passionate about his vocation. Dr. Lin ordered several tests based on Dasha’s medical history: estradiol, FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone), and AMH (anti-müllerian hormone). To further determine why Dasha had experienced multiple miscarriages, Dr. Lin ordered one additional test, a genetic test for the MTHFR gene.
These tests proved instrumental to continuing fertility treatments and the supplements Dasha was taking. Dasha tested positive for the MTHFR gene. This meant an increased risk of preeclampsia, blood clots, recurrent miscarriages, or giving birth to a baby with congenital disabilities.
To help with this diagnosis, she started taking folate instead of folic acid to make sure her body was able to assimilate it and not have an adverse reaction. And, Dasha had a good number of eggs for her age.
Over the next year and a half, she proceeded with three IVF cycles. None were successful.
After everything she’d been through, her commitment to having a child had been tested in so many ways and she was ready to stop. But Dr. Lin encouraged her to try one more IVF cycle. He demonstrated how invested he was in her case, and patiently listened to all her concerns. He thoroughly explained all his reasoning and decision-making process. His confidence and expertise reassured her.
With the love of her husband and the support she’d built around her, she was ready to proceed with another IVF treatment. Dasha underwent several egg retrieval cycles which resulted in five embryos. She discussed with Dr. Lin about using one embryo per IVF cycle. Given her age and embryo quality, he advised her to use all five embryos in one cycle to have the best chance at a successful pregnancy. He further advised that a one-at-a-time approach could take longer since she would be taking medications to make sure her uterus and body were ready for embryo transfer and implantation. And, if she miscarried, it would cost precious time for her body to recover during which her chances of a successful pregnancy would dwindle.
During the next few months, Dr. Lin canceled some of Dasha’s intended IVF cycles because of a less-than-perfect uterine environment. Finally, they transferred all five embryos.
Success! Dasha got pregnant!
The Supportive Journey with RFC
Through her journey at RFC, Dasha felt supported in every way. The staff made a huge difference in the way she experienced treatments. Since she was going to multiple locations (Irvine, Alhambra, and Corona) due to relocating after the fire, she got a chance to work with many wonderful nurses including Tara, Lori, and Paula, who was her main coordinator and her guardian angel. She was incredibly knowledgeable, organized, compassionate, and accessible. Iris, the acupuncturist, was an absolute pleasure and worked her magic in the most nourishing of ways so that bothersome symptoms dramatically lessened or completely disappeared. Florrie, in accounting, tirelessly advocated for Dasha with her insurance company, and multiple vendors like anesthesiology and phlebotomy lab, to provide payment options. Dasha will always be grateful for RFC’s benevolence, and their unmatched professional and compassionate approach.
A Healthy Pregnancy and Looking Forward
Dasha is doing everything in her power to ensure a healthy pregnancy. With her history of miscarriages, she was cautious during the first several weeks and took extra care of herself and her growing baby. Happily, Dasha and the baby are now in their second trimester, and a recent ultrasound showed a healthy baby girl. Dasha and Alex are anticipating the arrival of their baby daughter in November.
Dasha and Alex recently finished an online birthing class. They’ve also started looking at all the furniture and toys their little ones will need. One of the more difficult tasks so far has been deciding on a name. They want to honor both of their cultural heritage and are zeroing in on a name that works well in English, Spanish, and Russian.
Both Dasha’s father and mother are looking forward to being grandparents. Though her father is still battling ALS, and her mother is fighting cancer, the hope of a grandchild has given them both a positive way to look to the future.
Dasha and Alex are excited about showing the world in all its incomprehensible beauty to their daughter. Dasha also hopes to pass on to her daughter all the profound lessons she’s learned from her parents and through life’s adversities: the importance of culture and diversity, the meaningful incentive to overcome anything and everything, how to recognize the signs of finding one’s divine purpose and to embrace their journey.
